Anyone for cake?

Thought I'd share this culinary delightful translation error with the world.  From the menu of a top Bonn Hotel.  As a main course you could have a meal including 'Red Pepper Scum' (an unfortunate mis-translation of the German 'Schaum'=froth).

A glass of wine here (0,2l) will set you back 9 euros – and that's not a 'typo'…

Anyone else with a 'silly' picture from Bonn?  Please mail jpeg to us: english.network at gmx.de

Popularity: 15% [?]

‘Metropol’ soon just a name?

A while ago we featured a Society that hoped to save Bonn’s Metropol Theatre from becoming yet another place to shop in.  For those interested in preserving the City’s cultural heritage here is an update.

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Should the Metropol remain a listed building?  When does ‘renovation’ become pure ‘destruction’?  Do we need more shops?  Do we need another Theatre/Cinema?  Should sentiment rule over over common sense? What is the sensible solution?  Is there an end to all these questions in the foreseeable future?

 

Sunday (2^nd September) saw a demonstration take place in Marktplatz.  Amongst those taking part were Circus Roncalli.  The Circus was interested in taking the Theatre on as a going cultural concern.  Naturally, despite it’s experience in such matters (the Apollo Theatre in Düsseldorf for example), it needed to inspect the premises.  It was refused permission to do so by the present metropol owners.   These argue that plans for the buildings renovation and use were reviewed 15 months ago and it’s time to send in the bulldozers and new bricks.

 

There is hope however for those wishing to preserve Bonn’s cultural heritage in that 9113 signatures are required in order to allow the people of Bonn to insist on the preservation of the Building’s structure.  But what one person sees as acceptable is not the same as anothers view.  Here is a link to present renovation plans (that were originally accepted as still preserving the buildings character):

 

http://www.rettet-das-metropol.de/CMS/images/stories/Downloads/flugblattplan2rgbweb.jpg

  

It looks pretty destructive to me.  Most people will see the building from the outside everyday.  What will they see?  A glass ‘shop window’ fascade and no stairways.

That famous walk up to the restaurant balcony will be gone forever- along with it’s view over the market over a hot cup of coffee and slice of apple cake.   Maybe we will still have the ‘metropol’ logo over the new shop and think ourselves lucky?

 Link to ‘Save the Metropol’:

 

 

Popularity: 10% [?]

Badenweiler for beginners

 

“Badenweiler eh?, that’s more for old people”  I was pleased to hear that others still regarded me as young, but concerned about their view of my holiday prospects.  Despite this, with the tramlines being rebuilt and threats of strike action on the trains it seemed like a good time to wave Bonn goodbye for a while.  So I let a train take the strain (while they were still running) and headed for the Black Forest.  what did I find?  Peace? Quiet?  Old people? Well yes – but I also found hundreds of plastic chairs and a use for my old fridge magnets…

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A short history:  Badenweiler is a Spa/Health Resort in the Grand Duchy of Baden. It’s 28 KM from Basel and 10 KM from France (the relevance of which was to be revealed during our visits to the local Thermal Baths, populated largely by French/Swiss visitors)  It’s position on the western edge of the Black Forest makes it a good place to go for a walk and and a piece of chocolate cake – preferably both, as a means to avoid the calorific pitfalls of the latter by strenuous undertaking of the former.  Like everywhere in Germany it seems, Badenweiler has a castle which was, seemingly like all the castles in Germany, destroyed by the French (though not in such a picturesque way as in Heidelberg it must be said).  Wikipedia tells me that the permanent population is around 600 but that visitors number around 5000 per year, so don’t expect anyone to help with directions if you get lost – “Sorry, I’m a visitor here myself” will be the likely response. 

 

 

Famous visitors/Patients: U.S. writer Stephen Crane & Russian Anton Chekhov

More than likely Badenweiler visitors will be under treatment at a ‘Kurhaus’ or will be the spouse of a patient but staying at a hotel (where the food is better) and, yes, more than likely they will be physically old.   ‘Physically old’?  Well I would like to believe that ‘physically old’ doesn’t necessarily mean mentally old – and Badenweiler is the place to prove it.  Take our table companions.  I couldn’t help noticing the man, a sprightly looking gent in his later years, energetically waving a kitchen magnet around his wine decanter and counting, “121, 122, 123…”  Dementia was my first thought, only he didn’t look old enough for that.  I was wrong on both counts.  It wasn’t dementia and he turned out to be 95 years old and holidaying with his ‘young’ (c.70 year old) second wife.  The kitchen magnet was, he informed us, a way of reducing the alchohol level of the wine by around 3%.  With a further flourish of enthusiasm he produced a photocopy advising on the use of magnetism to combat electrical waves from every man made device that has a plug or battery.  Finally, he made a short visit to his room, returning with a copper ‘divining rod’.  A few minutes of walking about the dining hall with this ‘twitchless’ copper rod in my hands were needed to reveal I was not one of the few blessed with the required natural sensitivity for divining – only one day into my holiday and I was discovering new facets about my spiritual ineptitude. 

Muttering ‘charlatan’ to myself I had nodded sagely, all the time knowing that I would now be spending my days scouring the shops for an ‘I Luv Badenweiler’ magnet and my nights waving said magnet round all manner of alchoholic beverages. 

 

Don’t run away with the idea that everyone in Badenweiler is an eccentric octogenarian though.  We initially shared our hotel (Daheim am Park) with members of the T-Mobile pro racing team including one of Britain’s top riders, Roger Hammond (2^nd in Paris Roubaix 2004 one of the most gruelling road races that exists and known as the ‘Hell of the North’).  Just being in the same breakfast room as these guys made me feel fitter. 

 

Fit enough anyway to grab a towel and walk across the Park to the Casseopeia Thermal Baths.  Now these are really Baths with a capital ‘B’. You could spend a whole day (week?) there gravitating between swimming, relaxing and reading at a poolside chair.  Your entrance chip also replaces cash, so there is no need to even return to your locker – although the chip will only let you out once you’ve squared up your purchases at the exit automat so what happens to people who spend more than they have I can’t imagine.  Maybe their swim trunks are confiscated as provisional payment. 

 

 

 

 

Sweeping scenery opposite the Vinyard in Badenweiler 

 

If you can finally tear yourself away from the Baths there are many great walks and cycle routes at your disposal for all levels of fitness.  You don’t have to follow the Magenta men from T-Mobile into the highest hills.  All routes are well signposted and you can often walk for miles without seeing a soul.  What you will come across though are white plastic chairs.  They seem to be distributed everywhere, and in vast numbers.  Go to ‘Vogesen Blick’ or the ‘Offene Buhne’ in the Kurpark area and they stand in silent rows as if watching the world go by and waiting for a bottom to descend.  By  my estimates there were more seats than bottoms to sit on them.  If all 5000 of Badenweilers estimated visitors should decide to visit on the same day the City is READY!. 

 

 

 

 

 

  'There are 9 million white chairs in Badenweiler…' ? 

 

Favourite walks include Brudermattfels – A wonderful view but I should have been suspicious when I saw the route included a long stretch named ‘Esel Weg’.  If I tell you that ‘Esel’ is german for donkey then you will know (as I should have) that the way is likely to be steeply upwards.  I include a picture from the top to spare you, constant reader, the torturous walk.  Easier, flatter, and for different reasons equally rewarding, is a walk to Britzingen.  This is Wine Country, in particular Gutedel Country.  Just a shame I can’t include a glass of Behringer’s Gutedel Trocken 2005 on this site – you will have to take my word it is nectar from the Gods.

 

 

 

 

Worth the walk – view from 'Brüdermattfels' 

 So, I’ve rambled on for long enough and haven’t even found room for the Black Forest Gateaux (though I always found room for it on the walks when it was discovered on Café menus).  If you want a relaxing time with plenty of exercise – walking, cycling and swimming – then give Badenweiler a try.  ‘Hotel Daheim am Park’ offers great food and friendly service with a regular list of events.  Oh, and remember to bring a magnet.  

Links:

Badenweiler: http://www.badenweiler.de

Hotel Daheim am Park: http://www.hotel-am-park.biz/

Popularity: 5% [?]

The forgotten Beethoven

 

In the first of an occasional/regular/one-off series of articles (depending on interest!) we take a look at some of Bonn's famous and not so famous buildings & monuments.  Hähnel’s 1845 statue of Beethoven in the Münsterplatz is an icon of Bonn but a more relaxed ‘Ludwig’ can be found in the Rhinepark.  Maybe you’ve seen him on the way to a jazz show at the Rheinau Pavilion.  Here’s his story…

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It's strange that what was planned out as an austere Berlin monument aimed at displaying power and awe should look today like a very large man on his sofa watching the next episode of Lindenstrasse on a non-existent tv.  It seems as if all that’s missing is the large milkshake and popcorn.  Sorry to be so unserious about a national monument but that’s what happens when you ‘plonk’ it between a restaurant and a clump of trees.  As my story reveals, a lot of people went to a lot of trouble to get this statue in the public eye – and having done so it seems to have finally been ‘dumped’ in the park like some old television that has been put out as ‘Sperrmüll’ in the hope someone will take it for spare-parts.

 

 

 

Actually, maybe someone will take it for a spare part one day as it is actually only meant to be one part of a larger monument.  The ‘sitting Beethoven’ is based on a design by sculptor Peter Christian Breuer (1856-1930) and was suggested in 1916 for a projected monument in Berlin.  Early plans show the figure seated before steps leading to what seem like huge gravestone erections with various depictions and grand fir trees.  The plans met with mixed praise in 1916, where Max Klinger had already created an Olympian-god style Beethoven on a pedestal.  Breuer’s version was, in his defence, more the Egyptian variety of seated God – Sitting bolt-upright with arms by his side.  Apparently though a seated deity was considered a seated deity and it had all been done before…

 

The project therefore was shelved and might never have seen the light of day at all but for  the intervention of the German Propaganda Ministry and eventually Hitler himself. The result was, that in 1938, eight years after Breuer’s death, a co-worker named Friedrich Diedrich created a finished sculpure of just the seated figure which was unveiled in Bonn at the Alten Zoll.

 

 

Never mind the remote – where's the TV! 

 

In 1949 it was taken down again (maybe because of it’s Nazi backing?) and disappeared from view until 1977 and it’s present decidedly low key location. During the intervening years the statue seems to have been cut in half with it’s throne shortened and there is now a chunk missing from the back of the great man’s head.  It all seems a pity somehow and Ludwig seems for all the world to be ‘sitting it out’ as if waiting for the announcement of a pending new location.  And why not?  It’s happened before after all.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Alan Ball

The white football boots were a Christmas present from my parents.  I had nagged them into submission over a period of several months.  The manufacturers claimed that, being white they gave a psychological advantage to the wearer – making his feet feel lighter and in turn making him quicker to the ball and faster down the wing.  I wanted white boots for only one reason – Alan Ball wore them.

 

I was never much of a footballer.  My only appearance for the school team came about because of a flu epidemic at school, and my main contribution to the game (we lost) was a pass to our star forward that led to his getting a leg broken by one of our opponents defenders.

Truthfully, the only reason I ever stood out on the playing field was those white boots.

 

Of course ‘Ballie’ as he was affectionately known  was already a star by then following his exploits as a human dynamo on the field at Wembley in 1966.  At the time I was a mere seven year old and playing on my new scooter in the street, oblivious to the history taking place on television screens throughout Britain, and wondering why the roads I was ‘scooting’ down were so empty. This story really started in 1968,  when as a more mature  nine year old (i.e. into football) I watched the FA Cup final and saw there was a player named ‘Ball’.  It seemed appropriate somehow – like a cyclist named Eddie Wheel, or a musician named Terry Trumpet, so I watched the guy with the odd name – and he was damn fast even before the white boots came along.  When tackling for the ball he also exhibited traits of his name – bouncing off of defenders (Alan Ball was a mere five foot seven and once told at a trial to become a jockey instead) but he also, like the name, bounced back.

 

In subsequent years I watched Alan Ball’s career with keenness.  The memorable 1969/70 League Championship winning team and their equally legendary midfield of Ball/Harvey/Kendall.  Then the shock news.  My sister woke me up one morning in 1972 to say ‘Ballie’ had been transferred to Arsenal.  There I was with about five Everton pennants and three scrapbooks full of their deeds.  I had spent my childhood Sundays reading the newspapers from back to front – always starting with the football results and checking where the latest win had put Everton in the First Division League Table.   What was a boy to do?  In truth it was an easy decision between team and player – I became an Arsenal fan.  After all, players change allegiance with transfers over night, why not fans?

 

After retiring from playing Alan Ball became a manager with mixed success.  His popularity was such though that he could go from playing at Southampton to managing arch rivals on the south coast Portsmouth, and then later returning to Southampton as Manager and then once again returning to manage Portsmouth, yet still be loved by both sets of fans.

 

Alan Ball died on Wednesday of a heart attack.  Strange and sad that the man who seemed to have such a strong heart should be only the second of Sir Alf’s boys of ’66 to pass away.

While he was managing Portsmouth I took the chance to get a copy of his first autobiography signed by the man himself.   Above his signature he wrote just one simple word – “Win” and that was Alan Ball’s philosophy in life, second place is really first loser.  I don’t know where those white boots I had are now, but material things are not so important (Ball himself sold his World Cup medal some years ago) but “Win” is something Alan Ball gave me that I intend to keep.  I won’t do it on the football field but in an office I can strive to be ‘Ballie’ the man who gave 100% to everything.  I wont wear the white boots though.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Spring forward

 

The bad news was that we lost an hours sleep – the good news was that it was all for a good cause.  Whilst Summertime is here chronologically speaking, these geese were clearly happy enough just to be stepping forward into Spring sunshine at the Rhinepark on Sunday – aren't we all?! 

 

 

Popularity: 5% [?]

Proof…

Proof that Germany does have a sense of humour…

In
case you were dying to know – these two signs can be found side by side
on the Rheinweg.  How many locals have laughed over the
coincidence is not known. 

Popularity: 6% [?]

Carnival – no hiding place

Shoppers in the City Centre had a taste of things to come on Saturday when the Bonn ‘Ehrengard’ was seen and heard marching through the streets.  Actually, the march I saw ended at the ‘Salvatore’ pub and later continued (in an even jollier?) manner when I had to jump quickly out of the way as a massed group of ‘trumpet, fyfe and drums’ descended on me enmasse outside of Kaufhof.

Fortunately the visit to Salvatore came AFTER the visit to a local lighting shop – I wouldn’t want to wander round all that crystal with a drum strapped to my waist…

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Both being pretty tall, Prince Andreas II and Princess Katharina I looked very imposing as they sipped sekt in the shop; which again is not a blessing when you wear a tall hat with a feather.  Dates to look forward to (or dread, depending on your ‘jeck’ level) are

‘Weiberfasttnacht (when women take control) – February 15; The Rosenmontag parade – February 19; and ‘Aschermittwoch (Ash Wednesday) – February 21, when it all ends.

Oh, and if you don’t know what a ‘jeck’ is then you don’t have a jeck level. 

In which case stay at home on the above dates for your own sanity!

Andreas II & Katharina I on duty

Drums, porcelain and glass: ‘What, me worry?’

Popularity: 4% [?]

Was Xmas ever really Xmas?

Well how was it for you? Spending the run up to Christmas in Germany and Christmas Day itself in Britain gave me a chance to compare the festivities either side of the ocean, and fog wasn’t the only thing that made the view in ‘Blighty’ less than rosey…

 

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I didn’t see ‘Sound of Music’ anywhere on TV this Christmas but I’ll begin ‘at the very beginning’ anyway. A fogbound Heathrow turned my flight from Cologne/Bonn at 2 pm into a flight from Frankfurt (via a bus and extra flight from Düsseldorf plus cancelled flight from Frankfurt) into a marathon that got me into Portsmouth at a very un-merry 2.30 am. I don’t remember seeing any decorations at any of the airports visited – only long queues of fellow passengers trying to keep track of their luggage, their flights and ultimately their sanity. I think I managed two out of three as I arrived finally in the right Country with the right suitcase. The only sign of festive cheer I can recall up to this point is the two mini chocolate Father Christmasses added to my in-flight cardboard sandwich with plastic cheese (as opposed to the ‘deep-frozen’ all-day-deli bun offered by the rival airline that, for all I know, was delivered with a sprig of holly if they could pierce the frozen casing). No, Christmas in the UK did NOT start well.

 

HMS Warrior in Portsmouth strikes a Christmas Tree pose

In Bonn I had already managed the occasional foray to the ‘Weihnachtsmarkt’ for a Glühwein or the Ice Rink, for a Glühwein, or headed for the shops to pick up a seasonal Stollen (and a Glühwein on the way home). So I also started my search for a modern UK Christmas in the Highstreet.  My first observation is that the shops which appeared to display Christmas cheer were almost exclusively selling nothing more than wrapping paper, tags and ‘tat’.  My search for a ‘Kaufhof’ style window bedecked with fake snow and soft-toys skiing into fairytale villages inhabited by smiling monkeys and contented bears was in vain. Admittedly, I did manage to find a Christmas tree in the Guildhall Square.  This was presided over by a stern looking statue of Queen Victoria with an expression that said “touch those lights and I’ll put YOUR lights out mate!”.  I can only assume that most other decorations, not under the good Queen’s eye, had already been plundered – indeed, pretty well all decorations I saw were at least two floors off the ground and chained to drainpipes.

 

"Hark the Herald Angel, Scotsman, Indian, Salvation Army sing…"

One thing we do much better than the germans in my opinion is Christmas music. Jolly little brass bands of boy scouts or wizened pensioners honking out ‘God rest ye Merry Gentlemen’ on flugel horns. Even these colourful characters though turned out to be almost extinct. We had Red Indians, and we had a bagpiped scotsman, but only on my fourth visit to the ‘tundra’ that is Portsmouth High Street did I finally sight the object of my visits – A ‘Sally Army’ Band. They were standing next to a decorationless ‘Super Space Shuttle’ Merry-go-Round (in my day kids in December wanted to visit Santa rather than Mars), but at least they were there. Let Christmas finally commence!

 

And so it was that on Christmas Day, as always, I ate not wisely, but too well at a friends house. We pulled crackers, watched the Queen visiting a Mosque on tv and ripped the wrapping paper from presents with the traditional gusto of people half (quarter?) our ages. We ate, we drunk, we were merry and we slept deeply – gathering strength for the real meaning of Christmas in the 21^st Century – the New Year Sales.

The excitement of Christmas Day…zzz!!!

90.000 people invaded the main shopping centres in Portsmouth on just one day. A clothing store opened its doors at 5am and was still over-run with bagain hunters. My estimate is that by the actual start of New Year most people had already done their New Year shopping, which just goes to show how fast paced the modern world actually is.

The heavy fog was replaced by hurricane winds as my delayed flight touched down (shook down more accurately) back in Germany. It seems the chances of being delayed by ice or snow at Christmas have gone the way of other yuletide traditions. Or did planes ever get delayed by snow in the good old days?

There’s certainly no mention of it in ‘Christmas Carol’ so at least that’s something a Dickensian Christmas and a modern one have in common.

 

A Happy New Year to one and all!

John

 

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Twilight Town

The sun goes down on Bonn pretty early now as Winter and Christmas beckon.
BEN takes a look at the City in twilight and finds there’s still a lot to see – even without a torch.
Some impressions…

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Musicians present & past  can be found at the Christmas Market

If its light enough to see, its light enough to shop!

The KAH roof shows its true colours in twilight

Does Ice Skating & Glühwein mix?  Find out at Museumsplatz and ‘Bonn on Ice’

All images c. John Hurd 2006

Popularity: 4% [?]

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