No more ‘Kiss & Ride’

It’s not often that German road signs cause a smile.  ‘Umleitung’ certainly is not a word for merriment, nor are ‘Gesperrt’ or ‘Einbahnstrasse’.  I remember passing a sign outside Cologne Main Station last Summer though that caused me to smile in bewilderment – “Kiss & Ride” it said.  I have to admit that, even as a native english speaker, I had no idea what that was supposed to offer.  A polite acronym for ‘Prostitute Pick-up-Point’?  Maybe the German authorities have a sense of humour after all?  No, that can’t be it.  Of course the basis for this rather entertaining sign was actually down to German authorities being too serious rather than too frivolous.  ‘Kiss & Ride’ it turned out was actually a short term version of ‘Park & Ride’ – allowing drivers to drop off or collect passengers at the station without having to park.    The fact that this term was obscure even to the English had seemingly escaped the notice of Berlin  bureaucrats.

It followed though on the heels of the cosmetics chain Douglas  abandoning their ‘Come in and Find Out’ slogan after discovering  customers were being given the impression that the insides of their stores were labrynths where you were likely to be lost forever or should at the very least take warm clothing, extra food & water and tell loved ones in advance where you were going before stepping inside.

Gillette attacked the slogan problem differently and  went for a middle ground by translating it’s mens shavers  ‘The best a man can get’ intowith a wishy washy German ‘Das beste in Man’ (whatever that’s supposed to mean).   This is proof enough to me anyway that there is a good reason for using English slogans – the German ones seem so uninspiring.  Douglas play it safe to the point of yawningly boring with ‘Douglas macht das Leben Schöner’   (‘Douglas makes life nicer’) how very, well, nice of them.

A “Schlüssverkauf” has increasingly become a ‘Sale’ in German shop windows.   This seems sensible for small windows at least since it uses four letters instead of fourteen – except ‘sale’ is the French word for ‘dirty’ so you can’t please everyone I suppose.  I would say ‘sorry’ for any misunderstanding that french speakers might encounter.   Being in Germany I should say ‘Entschuldigung’ of course, only when did you last hear a German say ‘Entschuldigung’?  If  someone puts an elbow in my face when battling to board the morning train I’m more likely to hear a sharp ‘Sorry!’ (actually I’m more likely to hear the bones of my foot being trodden on).

Anyway, the genesis for my post here was Deutsche Bahn’s announcement that it was ‘de-Anglicising’.  In future you will be queuing endlessly at a ‘Reise Schalter’ rather than a ‘Travel Point’.   The term ‘Hotline’ when referring to the DB telephone call centre is also being changed – no, not to a more accurate ‘Call & Grow Old’ but to ‘Service-Rufnummer’.

In a bid to avoid having to repaint a large proportion of their rolling stock with the letters IG (Inter-Grossstadt) the term ‘Inter City’ is being retained though.  I believe there is now some debate in Berlin over renaming the hot dog stands  ‘Heisse Hunde’ – or maybe I just made that up.  Where German bureaucracy is concerned you can never be certain.

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